Stick and stones

imageStick and stones will break you bones but word will never hurt me so untrue I have been in a abusive relationship it went on for over 8 years the brusiea I could deal with they heal in time but the mental scaring never goes away even tho it was over 6 years ago it still is a day to day struggle I go thro little things will trigger memories that sometimes I can’t understand why or how they came about I guess I block the bad memories out and concetrate on the good. That help in the mean time but there are day that a door slamming will make me a nervous wreak talking about it to other people makes it worse I don’t see my self as the victim any more I am the winner I bet the evil presence I had in my life all those years ago and I am proud of that bit some people like to still wrap me up in cotton wool it does comfort me at times but sometimes it gets to me my view on it I survived the evil years so now I can survive anything there was a book written about the women in my family and it was written that Holmyard women are fighters and very strong women and that is exactly what I am I am a soilder

She has Ruby’s in her eyes

image.jpgThis is ruby she is my angel sent from heaven she is now 5 years old and every minute she has been my daughter she has lightning up my life she has a special gift I I believe it is true she can see and talk to people who has pasted my father passed away almost a year ago and I find miss ruby sitting in empty rooms talking to him I find it comforting but some what upsetting at the same time but deep down inside I have always know from the moment she had a gift she had always been there fore me at the most needed times she will look up at me and look into my eyes and say ” mummy you have Ruby’s in your eyes “

my grey headed git

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this is my git also know as my father Darrell daz or i am sure he was know by many other names. this photo was taken when he visited my kids school not sure of the date he was a regular visitor to the school for special days to help celebrate my children’s education. he had many talents  driving leather work and a champion dart player which was very unusual because from when i was 5 he only had vision in one eye from a accident i suppose that is why he was so good at darts he had many trophies from this sport and he also like a bet or two on the horses his lucky number was number 5 this number has also got  me luck over the years .

he wasn’t the typical father he had a very different sense of humor  but he could always make me laugh i suppose you could call it old school .

he always had a story to tell and after hearing them over the years i can tell them word for word and he would always had life quotes, like “if you pick you nose you eyes would fall out” or” if you sit too close to the tv you will go blind” i could go on and on but i think you can get the idea .

my favorite story he would tell me is the on he would tell me when i complained about well everything i was that kind of child he would tell me that i had a much better childhood that he did and” back in his day ” he would have to walk miles to school in the snow  there was no school bus   and his mother could not afford shoes for him so he had to wear sardine cans for shoes yes he would exaggerated just a little and how he could go to the movies and buy a ice cream and still have change from a shilling  and he didn’t have a TV he only had a wireless so i should think my self lucky.

i was lucky he taught me to appreciate what i have and that i try to pass that onto my kids some times it works but kids will be kids .

i ave children of my own and as they get older my father is coming out in me more that often it his funny ways have imprinted on me and made me the young women i am today .

love you dad 

you grey headed old git

from your red headed git   

mysterious man in a mask

who is this man ? where did he come from? all i can say is that he saved my life. dark and mysterious tall and handsome his voice was mystery he pulled me from  a dark and cold place where i saw no light at the end of the tunnel then he appeared with a candle and guided me the way into the sunlight he is the only other man i trust apart from my father he showed me that there was more to life than living in fear and and sadness  his dark presents has made my life full of light and joy .it seems like his presents appeared out of now where like he was sent from another higher power or from a magic genie from a bottle .he comes in many forms this form is the protector of our family unit other forms all i can say is that this man is my husband and no mater how dark and gloomy my life is he can always shin his light to guide me tho to the day lightmekas photos 080